How To Date a Conservative: A Guide For Liberals

Now, more than ever, America is divided, and there’s no question it’s affecting how we date. Generally a liberal and a conservative might hookup, but will struggle to build a long term relationship due to the conflict in beliefs. Here’s a quick guide on how to date a conservative (or trump supporter) if you’re a liberal.

Why Conservatives are more likely to be conservative

First off, not all conservatives are crazy conservative. Just like all humans, there are varying degrees of conservatism. Liberals are, in general, more likely to be left-leaning liberals, and conservatives are more likely to be right-leaning conservatives. How to find a liberal If you’re looking for a liberal, you’re probably looking in a college city like San Francisco, or New York City. Smaller cities or suburbs are not the best for finding conservative people. How to date a conservative If you’re looking for a conservative, you need to keep in mind some stereotypes: Conservative people will act like they’re an authority on you. You will be constantly on trial. And also, they might claim to be experts on almost everything.  According to adult dating site conservative men and liberal women are more likely to simply have a one night stand, then to build a long term relationship.

Understand the political spectrum

What I mean by that is that you need to understand the way political parties and ideologies work. That means not assuming they’re all bad or good, but simply understanding the goal behind each party. Conservatives want small government, free market policies and a society of strong leaders. Liberals want government to address and provide solutions for social and economic issues, such as healthcare, education and poverty. To understand their beliefs, you need to understand their ideals and goals. Once you’ve gained that knowledge, you can more easily try to reason and discuss. Gather information For starters, educate yourself on conservative policies. I highly recommend Alexia D’Addario’s well-researched book The Allure of Trump, as well as Hillbilly Elegy.

Understand that liberals and conservatives have differing views

Don’t expect the conservative to abandon his or her beliefs just because you like the other person. Understand that conservatives and liberals have different views on science You will likely find the conservative constantly questioning climate change, evolution, etc. This can be frustrating, especially for someone who is science-literate. Understand that you will be on the opposite end of the spectrum As a liberal, you may be eager to have the conservative over for dinner and to explore shared interests, but you should expect a slow change in your date’s view on issues, and to be challenged by the conservative’s lifestyle.

Understand that conservatives have different views than liberals

Different sides of a debate have opposing ideologies, and as I learned in the Breitbart-report, liberals think conservatives are racist while conservatives think liberals are stupid. It’s tough to find common ground there. One thing I learned was that if a conservative says they’re a “traditional family,” they might have no problem having three kids with three wives, but the liberal may feel differently. Everyone has their opinions. Communicate, and get to know your conservative friend’s belief system first Being a conservative can be a confusing, scary, and intimidating prospect. I think most conservative students would be surprised to know how many different conservative groups there are on campus and what people’s beliefs actually are.

Understand that conservatives don’t necessarily hate liberals

Even though conservatives have a reputation of not wanting to associate with people who don’t agree with their party, you should be prepared for your conservative date to think that they “hate” liberals. But that doesn’t mean they actually do, it just means that they’re used to seeing liberals acting aggressively, therefore making them believe that everyone on the other side is like that. Follow these tips: Keep politics out of the conversation The best way to have a civilized conversation with a conservative is to avoid using the topics of religion or politics altogether. This won’t happen, but you should definitely be on your toes if one of them starts to bring them up.

Understand that conservatives have different values than liberals

Even though they both tend to believe in equality for all (tax cuts for the wealthy and education for everyone), the conservative worldview is about more than just material things. They generally believe in a strong national defense, adherence to the rule of law, traditional gender roles, capitalism, self-reliance, and a greater interest in family. While liberals often subscribe to those values as well, they apply them in different ways. For example, liberals tend to prioritize environmentalism, tolerance, internationalism, and more. Conservatives tend to view the world through a more conservative lens; they value personal responsibility and independent thought over all else. This can make it difficult to understand each other, especially if you want to change someone’s mind.

Understand that conservatives have different life goals

Most are highly religious, yet most don’t believe in social welfare. That means they probably want you to stay at home or avoid working at all. They want you to stop having sex or masturbating (or both), they want you to stop watching R-rated movies, they want you to refrain from drinking alcohol, and they want you to stop putting extra salt on food. If you don’t agree with them, you’re not conservative, you’re a hippie liberal or a leftist. Limit expectations Most conservatives are very set on how a relationship should be. The conservative wants to be in control. It’s essential to understand that the conservative wants to be in control because they hate anyone who’s not. They’re not looking for someone who’s passive. They want someone who’s able to boss them around.

Understand that a liberal and conservative might get along

Liberal and conservative ideologies may be opposite, but there are still some people that share a lot of the same beliefs. The key is to talk about these issues with the person. Hear their point of view, and debate the issue and try to convince them of your side. It’s not uncommon for both the liberal and conservative to have a different opinion on the big issues, like homosexuality, abortion, drugs, crime, etc. Try to stay aware of the politics while you’re dating and try to have a civil debate with them. Support them Sometimes liberal and conservative people are from different sides of the political spectrum, but they just want the same things. Try to support them. Go to their rallies or speeches if you can. Work together on something to get your point across.

The Dating Advice 1. Just be open-minded and understand where they’re coming from. Don’t judge them based on their political views, or what social values they hold. Just try to meet their politics halfway and understand where they’re coming from. The Republican party and it’s supporters is not the enemy. They’re not just going to change their political views, and Trump will eventually stop alienating them. There’s good reasons to vote for Trump. Just be willing to hear out their reasoning. Also, understand they’ll have different beliefs when it comes to social issues, so their views on guns, and life and death issues may not line up with yours. 2. Pick up on their cues. If they say they’ve voted, then maybe they have.